Playing Messenger
by The Schizophrenic Gatekeeper
Summary: Tag to Letters From Pegasus the main focus is on Daniel Jackson from SG1, and it has some mention of a slash relationship.


**Season:** Season 1 SGA/Season 8 SG-1  
**Spoilers:** Mostly just Letters From Pegasus, otherwise just little things from SG-1 up to season 8 and the end of season 1 on SGA  
**Summary:** Tag to Letter from Pegasus  
**Warnings:** None  
**Author's Note:** There's Scottish dialogue, but it's not so heavy to be incomprehensible hopefully, however if it is, let me know and I'll edit/provide a translation. (Bairns children) - This fic is kinda more Gen then Slash - but the pairing is there. Beta'd by Tomolas and SiriusLivesOn.

Daniel tightened his grip on the case in his hands nervously as he approached his destination. Of all the tapes that he had delivered this was the most important, in his mind at least.

As soon as he had heard that the data stream from the Pegasus Galaxy had included personal messages as well as the numerous mission reports, Daniel had done his best to pull this duty, not caring what people thought. It was well known that he had been doing everything that he could to get to go to Atlantis and it wasn't such a stretch for them to believe that he was delivering the messages in order to do his best to get replies. No one, not even his closest friends would have believed the real reason that he had been so determined to get this duty.

Taking a deep breath Daniel pressed the doorbell and stepped back from the door to wait for an answer. He knew from experience that it might be a little while, but he was more than willing to wait.

"Daniel!" Daniel smiled warmly at the woman stood in the doorway, noting idly that her hair was still the same odd red colour before bending over slightly to return her hug and subtly taking stock of her, knowing that he might be asked about her health later. "Such a surprise, what brings you to my fair doorstep lad?" Her pale blue eyes sparkled as she looked him over, her hands resting on his elbows.

Daniel pulled away carefully, holding the tape out to her. "I'm playing messenger."

Startled for a moment the frail looking woman raised a hand halfway to her mouth, gaze locked on the blank white case, before looking up at Daniel a faint smile touching her lips again.

"He's finally sent word has he?" Daniel returned the smile, nodding.

"Well, you'll just have to come in then won't you." Smiling she moved back to let him past, before closing the door behind him, making idle conversation as she led him through into the lounge. "It hasn't been such a good year for me petunias I'm afraid, they look a wee bit miserable. But ne'er mind, perhaps next year." Kneeling in front of the rather weathered video player, she took the tape from him before gently prodding the machine to life. "Coffee, my love?"

"As you're offering, I'd love some thank you. Do you want some help?"

She waved him off quickly. "I would nae mind the company, but you'll keep your hands to yoursel' in my house." Daniel held up his hands, raising a soft laugh from his companion. "You'll be staying for tea, it's been a wee while since anyone's seen fit to keep me company, but I canae begrudge me bairns their own lives now can I?"

Daniel grinned. "Not really."

Leaning against the wall along from the sink, out of her way as she worked, Daniel silently took the room in, his eyes lingering on the fridge next to him and its small collection of artwork, amazed yet again by how little the house ever seemed to change.

"You still take it the same?" Daniel nodded in response, gaining an affectionate tap on the arm. "I'm nay a mind reader laddie, you'll have to speak, we canae all have your skills."

Daniel ducked his head to hide his blush, he'd missed this. "It's not a very long message I'm afraid, from what I was told, but it's to be expected really."

Shrewd eyes flicked in his direction. "Aye, even now these remote places are as unreachable as they ever were."

Daniel shrugged fighting off the urge to duck his head. "There's a limit to even modern technology."

She nodded her acceptance as she poured hot water into his cup stirring it gently before handing it over and turning her attention to her own cup of tea. "I ne'er could get a taste for that stuff, always been one for a good cup of tea though mind."

Drawing her teabag she dumped it into the small tub on the side, before dropping the spoon into the sink and turning to face him, a cup in her hand. "Well then, let's see what the lad has to say for himsel'."

The taped message was twelve minutes and seventeen seconds long exactly. He knew this because he had found himself starring at the timer on the recorder face rather than at the screen, because watching the screen meant seeing his face and seeing his face meant reawakening that same old longing. Twice he'd tried and twice he'd failed to join the man on the tape in his adventure, to satisfy that longing and that had almost been his undoing. He couldn't do it again. He couldn't get his hopes up only to have them dashed at the seventh hour, but at the same time he couldn't help it.

Jack, Sam and Teal'c didn't understand, they thought it was all about Atlantis, the lost city built by the Ancients, a place that was full of the promise of new and amazing discoveries, but it wasn't, not really. The lost city of Atlantis alone wasn't enough to drive him to do the things he'd done, not when he still had responsibilities in his home galaxy, but this was different and all because of this man. The man that he loved, the man that he had loved for far longer than he had even known that the Stargate existed, but they couldn't know, not now, perhaps not ever. It was too great a risk.

Glancing sideways at the woman beside him as the tape ran through for the third time, he watched silently as tears ran down her cheeks, the screen reflecting in her glasses and a proud smile touching her lips, he relived to see that the tape was giving her exactly what she'd needed, confirmation that her son was still safe and sound, confirmation that her son was happy where he was and happy with his new assignment. That was all that she really needed to know. It didn't matter to her where he was, or why he was there, all that mattered was that her only son was happy and, for a moment that was almost enough for him too.

"God bless him." She whispered as she finally released Daniel's hand, taking the handful of tissues that Daniel offered with a nod of thanks, before carefully rising from her position on the sofa and shutting off the video, her eyes remaining on the blank screen for a moment until Daniel placed his hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention.

She smiled faintly, before pulling him into a tight hug and burying her face in his chest as she fought to regain her composure. "Worrying about me when he should be worrying for himsel'."

She shook her head fondly as she stepped back, rubbing a rueful hand across one cheek, smiling apologetically. "Would you look at me gettin' all worked up over nothing."

Daniel smiled fondly, moving forward and pulling her in for another hug, resting his head in her hair for a moment, eyes closed. "It's ok, really, it is."

She laughed into his chest softly, pulling back to pat him fondly on the arm, looking up to meet his gaze steadily. "Aye, it is and I willna' have you hiding your feelings. I dinae care if it's necessary elsewhere, I willna' have it in my home."

Daniel blushed ducking his head, glancing sideways self-consciously. "It's hard, but at the same time he's alive and he doing what he does best." Meeting her gaze once again, Daniel smiled ruefully. "It's not like he doesn't deserve this, we both knew that it was an amazing opportunity and we agreed that he should go. I just, I wish I could have gone with him."

She smiled fondly squeezing his arm. "Aye, I've no doubt. How 'bout we get some food in you? You've got a fair bit more bulk to you these days, but that's nae gonna stop me feeding you up while I've got you." Nodding to herself she herded him out of the room and back into the kitchen, pulling out a chair for him at the table before turning to gather together what she needed.

Daniel chased the last pea idly around his plate, casting a longing glance in the direction of the oven dish on the side, wondering if there was any chance of claiming seconds, or whether he'd gain another bruise for his efforts. Small frail Scottish ladies with wooden spoons packed quite a punch if memory served.

"I don't know, you lads, always hungry!" Daniel blushed faintly as she laughed at him, moving across the kitchen to refill his plate before turning back to the oven and peering in side, checking on the progress of the desert. "Those military lads treating you well then?"

Daniel jerked, almost chocking on his mouthful of Sheppard's pie, swallowing hastily, before attempting an answer. "They're treating me fine."

"Aye, well, that's good then." She nodded slowly. "Yet you feel the need tae hide things from them?" Her gaze was glacial, drawing a wince from Daniel.

"It's complicated."

"'Tis always the way."

Sighing Daniel dropped his fork onto his plate, running a hand through his hair warily. "They have regulations and they're not all exactly the most open minded of people, Evy. It's the way they've been trained to be. I wish I didn't have to lie, but it's safer."

Her blue eyes narrowed. "Aye, I've heard as much. 'Tis truly a sad thing that in this day and age that there are still people like that in the world." She sniffed faintly.

"Making people ashamed of loving." She shook her head in mute disgust.

"Not everyone can be as open minded. People are scared of things that are different."

She smiled fondly at him, "Aye. I just dinnae like to see what that fear can do. You shouldna have to hide so much of yourselves, either of you. You're good, kind and considerate lads, you dinnae deserve it."

Daniel returned the smile. "I know and we both love you all the more for it, but the world isn't going to change overnight. Maybe, one day, we wouldn't have to hide, but for now, we've both agreed that it's better this way."

"Aye, it's a shame and I'll bear it, but only because you two are always on at me. I wouldna ever put either of you in danger." Crossing the room she hugged him around his shoulders before dropping a quick kiss onto his forehead. "Now don't you ever go forgetting that Daniel Jackson, you're a part of this family as much as he is, so I expect to hear from you more than I have been, do you hear?"

Daniel laughed, blushing. "I hear."

Nodding happily, she tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Now you eat up, puddin's near done."

"Yes mother."

She laughed, cuffing him across the head gently. "Such cheek!"

"T'was nice to hear from you lad, an' it sounds like you've got yasel' settled well enough, which is a comfort tae me." She shifted slightly in her seat, swallowing hard before continuing. "Me Petunia's have'nae done so well this year, but it's been a might chillier than normal. I did just as you told me, using that ointment an' all, an' that wee problem o' mine is all cleared up you'll be relieved tae hear." Daniel raised an eyebrow at her over the camera.

"Ointment?" Daniel hit the pause button quickly, never breaking eye contact with Evy.

"I had a wee bit of fungus, down there." She pointed at her feet as she spoke, before eying the camera.

Daniel winced faintly, curling his toes in mute sympathy. "Don't worry, it's paused, so it's not recording…umm, do you really think that's the right thing to tell Carson about??"

Evy sighed heavily, shaking her head mutely. "If I dinnae say about it, he'll only worry, you know as well as I do what the boy can be like."

Daniel smiled, ducking his head remembering old times. Carson was definitely a worrier. "Ok, fair enough." That bit could be edited out easily enough later on, if it needed to be, but Evelyn didn't need to know that. "Maybe if you tell him a bit about what everyone else is up to? Just let me know when you're ready and I'll start recording again."

She smiled her understanding, before carefully settling herself back into her seat, then nodding for him to start the tape again. "Wee Jamie has done himsel' proud, he'll be startin' at the hospital within the month an' as you'd expect your sister has been floating on a cloud since he told her. Wee Sophia is expecting again, an' Moira's in Ireland, last I heard from her all was goin' well, but she did ask after your health, I told her you were fine, so don't you go making a liar out of me laddie."

Daniel fought the urge to laugh as she threw her best intimidating look at the camera, shaking a finger at the same time, idly wondering how Carson could ever think to describe his mother as delicate. "I've been knitting again, nothing for you yet mind, through I've still got that jumper for you." She glanced down at her clasped hands for a moment before looking back up at the camera, taking a deep breath to steady herself before speaking again. "You just take care of yoursel', no need tae be worrying yoursel' 'bout me so. It is'nae like I dinnae have plently of young ones about doin' that as it is. An' just you remember that your ol' ma is right proud of you, an' lookin' forward tae hearing from you again soon." Daniel hit stop quickly, before rounding the camera to pull Evy into his arms, holding her as she cried.

Packing the last few pieces of the tripod into the case, Daniel sighed carefully closing the lid and snapping the catches shut, his gaze drifting towards the door half expecting her to be stood there watching him, only she wasn't. She was in her room composing herself.

Crossing the room Daniel dropped silently onto the sofa, resting his head in his hands as he struggled with his own emotions. It had been hard, watching one of the strongest people he knew battle so hard with their emotions, harder still to let her deal with it her own way. He wanted so badly to help her, give her the support she deserved but she wouldn't accept. Instead he had had to let her go, to go 'recover herself' in private because that as what she wanted, the way that she dealt with her emotions.

Then there were his own bittersweet feelings about it all. He could do this one thing, one thing to show how much he cared, but at the same time Carson might never know that it was Daniel who had done all of this. All he would know was that someone had given his mum his tape and then she had recorded her own reply. All he could do was hope that Carson would somehow know.

Daniel shuddered faintly, biting his lip. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to get angry. He wasn't going to do anything. He was just going to get on with it, get the job done, give Evy as much as he could and then head back. Continue living the lie. After all it was what he and Carson had agreed needed to be done.

Blinking back tears, Daniel took a deep shuddering breath, jumping as a gentle arm settled across his shoulders, drawing him sideways, into a warm embrace. "Shhhh love, it's okay." Upon hearing those words Daniel finally gave in.

"You know, I think we're as bad as each other." Daniel swirled the last dregs of coffee around in his cup idly before glancing up and across the table.

"Aye, too stubborn for our own good." Evelyn grinned, winking playfully. "I bet the lad was glad to be rid of us."

Daniel returned the grin. "Yeah, couldn't get away from us soon enough, pair of saps that we are."

She arched an eyebrow delicately. "Aye, speak for yoursel' lad."

Daniel snorted shaking his head as he stood to refill his cup, ignoring the glare sent his way from the definitive woman. "I'm going to have to go soon, if I'm going to make my plane."

She nodded silently as she raised her cup to her lips, her gaze fixing onto some distant point across the room.

Frowning, Daniel glanced down into his coffee, wishing mutely that he didn't have to leave so soon. "I wish I could stay longer…"

"But you have work." She smiled fondly at him. "Aye, I ken lad. You needna worry about me."

Without thinking he crossed the room, leaving his cup on the table and leaning over to pull her into a hug, closing his eyes as his forehead came into contact with her shoulder. "I know, but I do." He whispered.

Laughing softly Evy returned the hug, before patting him gently to let him know it was time to let go, ducking her head as she wiped a hand quickly across her eyes. "You're a good lad."

Daniel laughed softly, ducking his head to hide his blush. "I'm sorry Evy."

"What ever are you sorry for?"

"For not visiting sooner, for not keeping in touch like I promised I would."

Standing on tiptoe she kissed his cheek gently, reaching out to squeeze his hand gently. "It's in the past love, you're here now an' that's all that matters."

Daniel smiled, meeting her gaze. "I'll try not to let so much time pass between visits in future, if I can help it."

Smiling fondly she handed him his cup. "Don't worry too much lad, just you write to me as much as you can and I'll be satisfied, maybe even a phone call or two every now and again. Now you drink up then we'll get you to the airport an' off back to that important job of yours." Daniel opened his mouth to argue, closing it again as she threw him a look he knew only too well, there wasn't anything that he could say that would talk her out of seeing him off, not now that her mind was made up.

Evelyn squinted up at the departures screen trying to understand the myriad of information before finally giving up and turning her head to watch as Daniel checked himself in at the desk. She would never like airports, there were too many people, too much noise and none of them ever seemed to smell very nice. Moving sideways out of the way of a passing family she resisted the urge to make a comment about manners, knowing only too well that it wouldn't make any difference. She would just have to be content in the knowledge that her children at least knew how to be polite. Sighing softly she clutched her bag tighter, feeling old.

"I'm all checked in, with an hour to spare before I need to be at my gate." Daniel touched Evy's elbow gently drawing her attention away from the mass of people surrounding them, wishing for a moment that he'd been able to talk her out of this. "How about we grab a quick drink before I head through security?"

Giving Daniel her best reassuring smile she allowed him to lead the way through the crowd to the small café, nodding politely at the girl who served them. She was happy enough to let Daniel order their drinks, heading off to find a table for them.

Sliding into her seat she settled her bag on her lap before reaching for the cup Daniel had placed in front of her. "I'll ne'er get used to these places."

Daniel shrugged, his hands curled around his own cup. "When you're travelling as much as I seem to these days you get used to them."

She smiled, taking a sip of her drink. "Aye, Moira's told me as much. I cannae imagine it mysel'."

Daniel grinned. "Carson definitely takes after you. He's always hated airports. If there was any other way to get to a place…" He ducked his head, remembering back to when he'd first met the man, long before he'd even heard of the Stargate project.

"Aye, it's a wonder he ever got anywhere that boy." Evy smiled fondly, shaking her head.

Laughing, wondering idly what Evy's reaction would be if she knew where her son really was and how he'd gotten there. "Though, thinking about it, there are a lot of things I would rather be doing than spending the next, eight or so hours." It was almost enough to make him regret not asking if, just by chance, the Prometheus would be available to 'beam' him home.

"Aye, but at least you'll be back home within the day."

"There is that I suppose." Daniel frowned, lowering his gaze to examine his coffee for a moment gathering himself. "You know Evy, if there's ever anything you need…"

She silenced him quickly, reaching out to squeeze his wrist gently. "Aye, lad, I know."

Their blue eyes met across the table for a moment before Daniel nodded mutely quickly downing the last dregs of his coffee. Evy quickly gathered up their rubbish, throwing Daniel a warning glare when he tried to take the tray from her. Shouldering her bag she stood easily, crossing the room to the bins, quickly spilling the waste into it before placing the tray carefully on top and turning back to Daniel, allowing him to lead her back out of the café and into the main concourse.

Daniel stopped a few metres away from the security point, taking a deep breath before turning to face Evelyn, only to have that breath knocked out of him as she pulled him into a tight embrace. Closing his eyes, he took the time to memorise the moment, until she finally let him go. Opening his eyes again, he finally gave in to the urge, leaning over to kiss her gently on the forehead, doing his best to ignore the dampness in her eyes, not wanting the moment to become awkward.

"Thank you lad, for everything." She managed to smile through her tears, reaching out with a shaking hand to squeeze his arm again. "I'll be expecting to hear from you soon."

Daniel laughed, "I'll write, I promise. Just you take care of yourself Evelyn Beckett."

"Aye, you too, Doctor Jackson." She drew him down, placing a quick kiss on his cheek before letting him go and making shooing motions. "Now off with you."

Daniel grinned, moving off, turning to wave at her once he cleared the metal detectors and watching silently as she headed out of the building, tissue in hand. He really needed to make the time to visit again soon, she deserved better than she had been getting recently and it was what Carson would want.

Daniel drummed his fingers against his leg idly, the case containing the camcorder and tapes that he had borrowed from Siler clutched tightly in his other hand as he waited for the elevator to reach the right floor. There was barely a day left before the Daedalus was due to leave. Barely a day for him to do a final edit of the messages and get them sent to the technicians at Area 51, work that he was happy to do; he'd just have preferred to have had the possibility of some help, but with the majority of people otherwise occupied, he'd just have to do his best and hope that he was able to finish in time. He hated the idea of sending only some of the messages, but sending none would be much worse. These people were risking their lives, they deserved this.

Jogging down the corridor and into his lab, he slid the case onto the desk, leaning across to turn on the computer before opening the case and pulling out the camera, its cables and the small collection of tapes, then moving the case out of the way.

Spreading the tapes out on the surface he hesitated for a moment, a fond smile touching his lips as he picked up one of them, turning it over in his hands, rubbing the casing idly with his thumb. He'd start with this one.


End file.
